They Don’t Speak to Be Liked: They Speak to Lead.
And that’s why you remember them
Ever noticed how some people walk into a room and everything stops?
They say one thing simple, sharp and it cuts straight through the noise.
No fluff.
No long backstories.
No asking for permission.
They speak like they know who they are.
Because they do.
Here’s the uncomfortable truth:
Most people talk to be liked.
The ones who get listened to?
They talk to lead.
Let’s break this down.
If you want your words to actually matter, not just fill space, you need to change how you communicate.
You’re not here to perform. You’re here to land.
Here’s how to shift from background noise to someone people lean in for:
1. Speak to Lead, Not to Be Liked
Most people are hoping for nods.
You should be aiming for clarity.
Don't soften your message so it lands easier, sharpen it so it lands harder.
Leadership lives in clarity.
Not charisma.
If you’re trying to be everyone’s mate, you’ll say a lot and mean nothing.
Say what needs to be said.
Stand on it.
Even if it makes a few people twitch.
2. High Emotion = Low Control
Lose your cool, lose your edge.
You can’t communicate clearly when your emotions are doing the talking.
That’s why the loudest guy in the room rarely wins.
He’s leaking energy, not holding it.
Calm carries weight.
Emotional outbursts burn your influence.
Doesn’t mean you don’t care.
It means you channel that energy into clear, measured impact.
No raised voices.
Just raised standards.
3. Speak With Weight
When you open your mouth do people lean forward?
Or check out?
You don’t get presence from talking more.
You get it from talking better.
Speak with intention.
Understand why you’re in the room.
Know your outcome before your first word.
This is how authority sounds:
Deliberate
Calm
Outcome-focused
It’s not louder.
It’s sharper.
4. Become a Question Master
Powerful communicators don’t just talk, they ask.
They guide the conversation by steering with sharp, loaded questions.
Start paying attention to the questions you ask:
Are they surface-level or do they dig?
Are you fishing for info or directing the room?
The quality of your questions determines the power of your influence.
Ask with precision.
Get people thinking in the direction you want.
When in doubt, don’t push, probe.
5. Stop Oversharing
You don’t need to say everything.
You need to say the right thing.
The more you talk, the more room there is for dilution.
Tighten it up.
Every word you say is either building your presence or breaking it down.
Speak in clean shots:
Fewer words, more weight.
Less story, more meaning.
No waffling, make it land.
People respect precision.
They forget noise.
Watch the Greats
Start studying how really successful people communicate.
Not the ones who go viral.
The ones who shift the room when they speak.
Watch how they:
Sit with silence
Speak slowly
Ask with purpose
Control energy
Say more by saying less
They’re not “naturally confident.”
They’re deliberate.
You can be too.
WHY THIS MATTERS
If you can’t communicate with weight, you get left behind.
People don’t follow the loudest voice.
They follow the one that feels certain.
Real influence isn’t about charm.
It’s about direction.
And direction starts with how you speak.
Your words are your tool.
Sharpen them.
TL;DR (but this one hits harder if you read it all)
Lead, don’t people-please.
Stay calm — emotion clouds the message.
Talk less, say more.
Ask the sharpest questions in the room.
Don’t overshare. Speak with impact.
The next time you speak — don’t just fill space.
Own it.
What did you think of today’s newsletter?
🧡 Loved it. like or drop a 🙌 or comment above.
🤩 I want more. Check out our reader favourites here.
👌Haven't subscribed yet? Click here to get more tips, tools, and updates straight to your inbox!
😊Free web apps & tools to boost your productivity here.
👇Substack Writers Workflow Notion Template: FREE when you recommend The BLDR Growth newsletter (just message me below!).